Bill Columbe, a grade 6 English teacher at Saint Theresa’s Catholic school in Kitsilano, claims he was fired for allegedly having sex with his girlfriend. Mr. Columbe, who describes himself as a recovering Catholic, has been teaching at the school for five years.
“The board of directors knew I was a recovering Catholic and that I was living with my girlfriend when they hired me,” says Columbe. “I assured them it wouldn’t affect my ability to teach.”
The incident mirrors that of Lisa Reimer, who claims she was fired by Little Flower Academy because she is gay.
The trouble stems from a field trip to the Planetarium. One of the chaperones was replaced at the last minute with Mr. Columbe’s girlfriend, Peggy, who is pretty and has naturally big breasts.
“Kids being kids, they started asking Peggy questions, one of them being do we live together and do we share the same bed. Since Peggy doesn’t pander to children she told them the truth and I guess a lot of them went home and started asking their parents about sex.”
Prudence Ogreton, chairman of St. Theresa’s board of directors says Mr. Columbe wasn't fired, he’s just not allowed to teach at the school. “Mr. Columbe’s lifestyle goes against the Catholic teachings of pre-marital sex. Many parents complained that now that their children know Mr. Columbe has sex they might want to have sex too.”
When asked if he thought keeping Mr. Columbe from teaching at the school would prevent the students from acting on their hormonal urges Mr. Ogreton replied, “It doesn’t matter. We’re rich. We can fire whoever we bloody want.”
The school is said to be looking into hiring a eunuch to replace Mr. Columbe.
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