The US department of Homeland Security is trying to circumvent plans to recycle the canvas roof from BC Place Stadium. In its quest protect the United States from every imaginable threat, the department would like to re-purpose the roof and use it as a diaphragm to defend the nation against a Godzilla type monster.
“As you may remember after 9/11 the government invited Hollywood screenwriters to pitch us nightmare scenarios that we could protect ourselves from,” said a Homeland Security spokesperson. “Several of those scenarios went on to become the basis for summer blockbusters but we seriously considered all the possibilities.”
After seeing footage of the deflated stadium on the Internet, a bureaucrat at the department had a eureka moment. “You insert that puppy into a giant lizard’s innards and they’ll never reproduce again! The military-industrial complex will have a field day with this! Think of how many jobs this will create!”
Halliburton is rumoured to be in negotiations for a no-bid contract with the government. Sarah Palin has updated her Facebook status saying she is opposed to birth control of any kind.
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