A spokesperson for the marketing department of the Religious Right has announced plans to publish a redacted Bible in time for Christmas. This latest edition will have every chapter and verse that promotes brotherly love blocked out like a confidential government document. “Love your neighbour as yourself—gone!” said the spokesperson. “Judge not, that you be not judged—Forget about it!” The editors also took the liberty of replacing Mary Magdalene with Bristol Palin since she scores well with the Tea Party. The Redacted Bible is available at Walmart, Target and Best Buy.
